Between the kicking, screaming, running around, and tantrums — us moms need a break. I found out early on in my journey as a mother that it’s important to have friends of ALL varieties — but one group that was essential in my friend circles was a group of moms that had kids my age.
I have a group of friends with kids that are the same age as my older kids. We have been friends for years, and while I still value everything in our relationship, as soon as I had another set of littles, it became apparent that they seriously do not remember how hard having toddlers is.
Finding Mommy Friends
Soon after our youngest, Zeke was born, I joined a moms group. Over the course of the last few years in the group, I have connected with so many new moms on so many levels. These are women that, from an outside glance, I wouldn’t think I have anything in common with, but we’ve become good friends.
These moms get what it’s like to have a toddler that throws a meltdown in the middle of the store. I can go to them for advice when my son has a terrible diaper rash. We can discuss life, all while our kids are playing on the playground. These are good people, and in this chapter of my life — I need these people.
Here are 5 tips to being a good mommy friend:
1. Be REAL
Most of us tend to put on a mask in some form or fashion when it comes to meeting new people. Drop the mask and be real. Transparency is a beautiful thing in friendship. Let’s face it, we are all a little weird — embrace and allow people to accept the real you.
That being said, make sure you return the favor. If you go to someone’s house that looks like a tornado just struck – roll with it. (Note: This is my house. The only time it looks presentable is for parties.)
Our tribe of mommy friends has a Facebook group. Facebook groups have become one of my favorite features of Facebook because it allows you to communicate with just those in that circle.
Keeping in communication can be hard with a screaming toddler. I try to touch base with my inner circle via text message. Unfortunately, some of my friends don’t get why I can’t talk on the phone to them. Trying to fend off a toddler and have a discussion just isn’t enriching to me.
Find ways to stay in touch regularly, even if it’s online. Communication is a beautiful thing and is essential in friendships, so use whatever method you can to achieve it.
3. Help a Mommy Out
I have four kids and while I wish I could help all of my friends out in other ways, my resources are limited. While I may not be able to babysit all day, I try to find other ways to help a mommy out. Maybe bring over cookies, send a card showing support — or if you can, offer to watch the kids. In an ideal world, I would be able to help my friends out more, but you have to do what is feasible for your life. All that said, find ways to help your mommy friends.
4. Find Interests That Aren’t Kid Related
Our kids are the common reason why we’re friends. While that is great, find interests outside of kids. Find time to do a girl’s night out. Talk about hobbies, share favorite reads, embrace life outside of kids. If you can find friends that you can jive with that you have similar interests AND have kids your age — it’s a bonus.
5. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Sometimes I need to live vicariously through a single friend. This always makes me appreciate my marriage. Other times I need someone to tell me that my toddler is totally normal for peeing all over the floor. Make sure that you don’t isolate yourself in motherhood. It’s so easy to do. Even an introvert like myself has found the importance of friends, and my mommy friend tribe — I hope that you do the same.
Do You Have a Tribe of Mommy Friends? What tips for making mommy friends do you have?
Content creator, lover of sweet wine and tacos and mom to 4 kids. Molly appreciates the unique things in life, is a Ennegagram 7w8 and has been blogging here at Digital Mom Blog for a very long time (10 years!)