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10 Toilet Paper Alternatives – When You Run Out of TP

With the great Coronavirus toilet paper shortage of 2020, toilet paper alternatives are something you may just need.

toilet paper alternatives

What To Do When You Run Out of Toilet Paper

I have had 3 friends TONIGHT post on Facebook that they are out of tp, freaking out at the store shelves being empty. So, I thought let’s find what to do when you run out of toilet paper.

toilet paper commercial meme

Filing this under another topic that I never thought I’d be writing about (see rats and lice for other topics – alas this is life!) and chat toilet paper alternatives!

Best Toilet Paper Alternatives

Here are 10 alternatives to toilet paper. Some of these are humorous, because you guys – you know I love to laugh. Others there are no way I personally would use, but I guess if times are desperate. Then yes, we offer practical advice for toilet paper alternatives.

#1 Baby Wipes

Baby wipes are a practical solution and toilet paper alternative. I mean, that’s what babies us!

baby wipes toilet paper alternative

I should note, if you continually flush baby wipes down the toilet as an alternative to toilet paper, you will most likely need a plumber. Throw them away, don’t flush.

#2 Washcloths

Filing under things I don’t think I personally could do – but people do this.

wash cloth toilet paper

In regards to having no toilet paper, this is how a washcloth and bleach is suppose to go down.

Just add a bucket of water, add bleach. Other commenters said to soak in vinegar. Yeah, just don’t think this is for me.

You can get washcloths for around 50 cents each on Amazon if looking for bulk washcloths.

#3 Unmatched Socks

Finally a use for that huge pile of unmatched socks! (Don’t miss our laundry memes!)

unmatched socks

#4 Paper Towels

Next on our list of toilet paper alternatives is paper towels.

Just cut the paper towel roll in half as an alternative to toilet paper. I recommend you use signature cloth Viva. These are the best paper towels, super soft and doesn’t rip easily (so carefully use a sharp knife!)

paper towel as toilet paper

Again, if you flush you most likely will need a plumber, a toilet snake or something of the such. Throw away – don’t flush.

#5 CVS Receipt

Number 5 on our list of toilet paper alternatives gives you a solution on what to do with that insanely long CVS receipt!

cvs receipt toilet paper alternative

That’s right, just wrap that CVS receipt around an empty toilet paper roll and wa-lah, you are recycling and have a solution for your toilet paper issue.

#6 Bidet

The bidet instead of toilet paper option should be an obvious, but America has not quite caught on to the bidet trend! Check out our fancy toilet seats post – we will show you the best affordable bidet options! Jump on the bidet trend and say goodbye to toilet paper!

bidets in america

Washing your bum instead of wiping just isn’t American, but this tp shortage may just change opinions on butt washing with a bidet!

Bidets offer a earth friendly and can be more affordable, and comforting than toilet paper.

Here is a fascinating article on why certain countries don’t use toilet paper and others do.

roto wipe toilet paper alternative meme

Then there is this Roto Wipe. Looks painful, messy and masculine. Could you imagine the infomercial for this? This is actually a prank gift box, not an actual product. Sorry, folks!

#7 Crochet Toilet Paper

For number 7 on our list of toilet paper alternatives, I present you with something a grandma obviously created.

crochet toilet paper roll

Crochet toilet paper, how soft but another that is a hard pass on.

#8 Lota or Bucket of Water

A lota or bucket of water is how many countries cleanse the booty instead of using toilet paper.

water bucket instead of toilet paper
source: wikimedia

Another hard pass, gosh – I really am no fun at a party.

#8 Facial Tissues

This should be a well duh, but number 9 on our toilet paper alternatives list is facial tissue.

Rather than for your nose, use for your booty.

#9 Newspaper of Magazines

I guess desperate times call for desperate measures and if you aren’t a bucket of water type wiper, perhaps use old newspapers or magazines.

newspaper wipe

Let’s just hope the ink doesn’t rub off. That would be (more) awkward.

#10 Corncob

I know what you are thinking “okay, you are not funny.” I am not even trying to be funny with this one!

corncob as toilet paper alternative

In researching how other countries get by without toilet paper, because this American has no clue – I came across this. Yes, a dried corn cob as toilet paper (and you can buy in bulk on Amazon! Works great for feeding squirrels, too!)

I know, painful and gross and now at Thanksgiving when you see a cornucopia with a dried corncob the thought of someone using this as TP will now be stuck in your brain.

Here is what the Farmers Almanac has to say about using dried corncobs for tp.

In rural agrarian communities, handfuls of straw were frequently used, but one of the most popular items to use for clean-up was dried corncobs. They were plentiful and quite efficient at cleaning. They could be drawn in one direction or turned on an axis. They were also softer on tender areas then you might think. Even after toilet paper became available, some people in Western states still preferred corncobs when using the outhouse.

source: Farmers Almanac

I Roll with Toilet Paper

While yes, I am sure there are many other earth friendly toilet paper options other than actual TP… I am sticking with regular toilet paper.

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