11 years of being a mom has taught me many lessons. There have been many FAILS. There’s been a few wins. Out of all of the things that I’ve learned, 10 truths about motherhood ring true. I could tell you things like your house will never be clean or that sleep is a myth, but there are somethings you need to learn for yourself.
These truths about motherhood are things I want to tell every mom or soon-to-be-mom to know. I wish I had known and understood these things sooner.
1. You are unique.
How you parent should be unique. While Baby Wise may work for your half of your friends, it doesn’t mean it’s what will work for you and your family. You must learn to embrace being unique and finding what works for YOU.
2. Your kids are unique.
EVERY child is different. Just because ONE is quiet, doesn’t mean the rest will be. Just because one responds to time out’s, doesn’t mean it will work for each child.
3. Time REALLY does fly.
I use to roll my eyes every time someone said “time flies with kids” or “they’ll be grown before you know it” or “enjoy them while they are young!”. Okay, I now get it. Time DOES fly. The kids grow up way too quick. The trick is just enjoying each moment of it the best you can.
4. The most important things didn’t cost tons of money.
MONEY! If ONLY we had more money, we could buy…. Sure, money is essential, but let me give you some money saving advice….Money isn’t everything and your kids will love you regardless.
I’ve spent so much money on CRAP. Baby crap. Kid crap. Mom crap. You know that CRAP you buy, thinking it will make your life better. The best stroller, the nicest clothes, throwing the BEST kid’s birthday party. Blah – it’s all crap I tell you! I only can say this after spending way too much money and realizing that in the end, the kids don’t care.
The stroller that your child rides in will not dictate the quality of their life. The clothes your children wear will be pooped, peed and puked on.
And birthday parties, oh LORD. With 4 kids, I can tell you that our birthdays now are spent low key. We invite our closest friends and family members. We take good photos to captures the memories, but things like expensive decoration, outrageous cakes – yeah sorry kids, those things just cost way too much and the return on happiness… not worth it.
I still get caught every now in then in the money can buy happiness trap. Reality slaps me in the face each time. What does is that old song?? Money can’t buy me love… true. that.
5. People will judge you no matter what. Stand tall and ignore them.
Are you going to work? Stay at home? Use cloth diapers? Breast feed? Day care or nanny? It doesn’t matter people. But I’ll tell you this… whatever you decide to do – you WILL be judged. The best thing you can do is keep your head high and ignore the judgement, oh and not judge other moms.
6. Being a mom can be isolating, if you let it.
Facebook is great. I love the thing, but the people that you don’t see in real life in a some-what regular fashion – you can’t rely on them to provide you the human interaction you need. I spent months locked in the house, only seeing family. I felt like that was my only option. And you know what, it sucked. I joined a mom’s group, which I totally DID NOT want to do. But I did, and it made me get out of the house. It made me talk to people outside of the internet world. It was one of the best things I’ve done getting to know moms who understand the up’s and down’s of parenting children of similar age to your own.
7. The mom who has it all together is a fake.
No mom has it all together, for real. Even the ones that you swear just know how to do the mom thing right, yeah – each mom has flaws. Each mom deals with crap on the floor that didn’t come from the dog. Just some people don’t let other people know about things like that. Not that we should call these perfect moms out, just know that achieving perfection as a mom shouldn’t be a goal because it’s totally NOT realistic.
8. GMO’s are bad, but so is stress.
While my kids drink healthy smoothies in the mornings, they sometimes eat Macaroni and Cheese for lunch. I want kids with healthy eating habits, but stressing too much isn’t healthy either. All that said – don’t sweat stuff too much. Do what’s best for you (are you sensing a theme here??).
9. Have fun!
I love having kids. I always knew I wanted to have a large family. What I didn’t know was how fun having kids can be. Sure there are stressful moments and it took me de-stressing my life, learning to say no and saying yes to what really matters to understand this truth.
Our family likes to laugh a lot, we have fun whenever possible because people, this life is too short (and didn’t you read #3, it all goes by soo fast!)
10. You are doing a good job mom.
Despite the critics – and chances are you are your own worse critic…. YOU are doing a GREAT job MOM! Keep up the good work. Don’t compare yourself to others. Stop yourself from judging other moms. Don’t worry about how other parents are parenting. Ignore the haters – there are ALWAYS going to be haters (haters gonna hate).