Best New Year Quotes 2024: Impactful Funny and Inspirational

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Get inspired and laugh with the best 2024 New Year quotes to help you kick start your January.

Flip the calendar and start fresh with some laughter and inspiration. Words always help put things into perspective. Sometimes that perspective makes me laugh or motivates and inspires me.

Funny New Year Quotes

Let’s start with funny. Here are some of my favorite funny New Year quotes. These are quotes about the new year that aren’t meant to be prolific but meant to make you smile or laugh. 

This funny New Year quote from Melanie White has us dry skinned people chuckling.I like New Year’s. The Confetti covers up my dandruff.

I like New Years. The confetti covers up my dandruff.
funny new year quote about confetti

Speaking of things that make me happy. like confetti, don’t miss our glitter quotes.

Happy New Year Quote

I would say Happy New Year, but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year, except colder. This funny Robert Clark quote sure feels applicable to us here dealing with the Texas winter.

"I would say Happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder."
happy new year quote funny

I’m not saying that I’m going to change the world in 2024, but i’m definitely going to drink a lot less coffee so I can sleep through it.

I'm not saying that I'm going to change the world in 2024, but I'm definitely going to drink a lot less coffee so I can sleep through it.
new year quote 2024
when someone says new year new you but you are fine with you are and dont want to change
baby yoda new years meme

Don’t miss our New Year memes!

Not Happy New Year

I would say happy new year, but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder. – Robert Clark

Is this Robert Clark New Years funny quote pessimistic? yes but it’s funny. Is the new year, really new?

Didn’t Change

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person. 

i can't believe it's been a year since i didn't become a better person.
funniest new year quote

There’s always 2024!

Funny New Year Quotation About Text

May 2024 be the year you respond to my text.

Yeah, dad. It’s super simple. I know you know how!

Getting Old

Remember when we were young and wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we are old and all we want to do is sleep.

Remember when we were young and now we are old and all we want to do is sleep.
new year quote about sleep

New Year Resolution Quotes

That New Years tradition of creating a list of unrealistic goals, yeah – we have quotes about that. First go enjoy our hilarious New Year Resolution memes. Next, share these New Year resolution quotes!

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because I can’t think of anything I need to improve on. I’m pretty much perfect as is.

quote for the new year 2024
quote for the new year 2024

New year quote resolutions to stop procrastinating by procrastinating on making a resolution.

new year quote resolutions to stop procrastinating by procrastinating on making a resolution.
new year quote resolutions

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
new year resolution quote

Well, it’s a brand new year, which means it’s time for me to make a whole new set of unrealistic goals and inevitably fail at them within the first month.

Well, it's a brand new year, which means it's time for me to make a whole new set of unrealistic goals and inevitably fail at them within the first month.
sarcastic new years quote

My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.

My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.
new year gym quote

This is my kind of New Year’s resolution!

Funniest New Year Quote

New Year’s resolutions are a bit like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain.

New Year's resolutions are a bit like babies: fun to make but extremely difficult to maintain.
funny new year quote about resolutions

Sarcastic New Year Quotes

Say what you will but sarcasm and memes are my love language. If you like some sass in your funny New Year quotations, we got you. Enjoy these hilarious sarcastic New Year quotes:

Yay, a new year! Another 365 days of pretending to be an adult and having no idea what I'm doing with my life.
sarcastic new year quotes

“Yay, a new year! Another 365 days of pretending to be an adult and having no idea what I’m doing with my life.”

sarcastic new years quote
sarcastic new years quote

“Another year gone by, and I’m still not a millionaire. Guess I’ll just have to wait until 2024.”

“I can’t believe it’s already 2024. It feels like just yesterday that I was making the same tired New Year’s resolutions that I’ve been making for the past decade.”

“I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of this whole “new year, new me” thing. I just realized that I can eat all the same foods, do all the same things, and not change a single thing about myself, as long as I have a new planner to write it all down in.”

I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this whole "new year, new me" thing. I just realized that I can eat all the same foods, do all the same things, and not change a single thing about myself, as long as I have a new planner to write it all down in.
sarcastic new year quote

“Well, it’s a brand new year, which means it’s time for me to make a whole new set of unrealistic goals and inevitably fail at them within the first month.”

“I’m so excited for 2024! Another year of pretending to be social when all I really want to do is stay home and watch Netflix.”

More Funny Quotes for the New Year

And here are some more funny New Year’s quotes to share and LOL:

  • The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. – P.J. O’Rourke
  • Good resolutions are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account. – Oscar Wilde
  • My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging about with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions. – Unknown
  • I’m going to order a pizza 5 minutes before the New Year and when it arrives I’ll say, “I ordered this damn pizza a year ago.” – Unknown
  • I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right? – Catherine O’Hara
  • Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. – Bill Vaughan
  • New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. – Jay Leno
  • This New Years I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2nd. – Melanie White
  • An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. – Bill Vaughn

Inspirational New Year Quotes

Not looking for funny, but inspiration and motivation? If you are looking to inspire, let’s look at our favorite Inspirational New Year Quotes. These inspirational quotes will provide the perfect positive start to your 2024. 

Ellen Goodman Quote

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential. – Ellen Goodman

inspirational new year quote
inspirational new year quote

Tim Ferriss Quote – Think Big

Think BIG and don’t listen to people who tell you it can’t be done. Life’s too short to think small. – Tim Ferriss

think big and don't listen to people who tell you it can't be done - tim ferriss quote new year 2019

(If you haven’t read Tim Ferriss’ book – The 4 Hour Work Week, read it. It’s perfect for anyone looking to make a change in their career in 2024.)

New Year Decision

A new year is a time to get your options clear and to make a significant decision to do what it is that makes you really happy. The real issue here is that you must take each day as a new opportunity to keep moving towards what you want!

A new year is a time to get your options clear and to make a significant decision to do what it is that makes you really happy. The real issue here is that you must take each day as a new opportunity to keep moving towards what you want!

12 Months 365 Days

There are 12 new chapters which totals 365 new chances. Use each day, each hour, each minute and each second wisely.

12 new chapters 365 new chances

New Beginnings

The best time for new beginnings is now. Let 2024 be YOUR YEAR!

the best time for new beginnings is now

Quote about Day One

Day 1 of 365. There are 365 days in a year, how will you use them?

day 1 of 365 - new years inspirational ,meme

One day or day one? YOU DECIDE.

one day or day one you decide

Chapter Not a Whole Story

Breathe darling, this is just a chapter not your whole story.

breathe darling this is just a chapter not your whole story

Reasons to Be Happy

There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. Find your happy in 2024.

there are so many reasons to be happy - 2019 new years inspiration quote

New Year Spiritual Quotes

Whatever space you are in with your faith or spirituality, these New Year spiritual quotes can be helpful and healing.

As we enter into a new year, let us remember that every day is an opportunity to start fresh and embrace the endless possibilities that the future holds.

As we enter into a new year, let us remember that every day is an opportunity to start fresh and embrace the endless possibilities that the future holds. May we draw on the strength and guidance of a higher power as we navigate the ups and downs of life and seek to grow in spirit and in faith. May we be filled with gratitude and grace, and may we always remember that we are loved and supported, no matter what the year brings. Happy New Year!
new year spiritual quotes

May we draw on the strength and guidance of a higher power as we navigate the ups and downs of life and seek to grow in spirit and in faith.

May we be filled with gratitude and grace, and may we always remember that we are loved and supported, no matter what the year brings. Happy New Year!

Spiritual Quote about Changes

I release all the things from the past year that has caused any negative attachment. I prepare and welcome new changes, new lessons and new adventures. I welcome new opportunities to grow emotionally, mentally and spiritually. – Unknown

More Inspirational New Years Quotes

We aren’t done! Here are even more inspirational new year’s quotes!

Dear past, thanks for all the lessons. Dear future, I am ready. – Unknown

If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am. – Cyril Cusack

A year from now you will wish you had started today. – Karen Lamb

New year. New feels. New breathe. New chances. Same dreams, fresh starts. I dare you to believe in yourself. You deserve all things magic. – Unknown

You don’t need a new year to make a change… all you need is a Monday. Make this the week you change your life. – Unknown

Happy New Year! Feel free to share these New Year quotes. Use the share buttons at the bottom and top of this post for easy sharing.

Just want to wish someone a Happy New Year? Check out our Happy New Year Images

Happy New Year Images for 2024 are part of the Digital Mom Blog series of Quotes and Words

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