The Office Quotes – We are bringing the best quotes from The Office tv show.
The Office is a classic TV comedy that is still constantly on repeat in our house. While my husband and I watched the entire tv series, now our teens are obsessed. Even though the teens have no idea what it’s like to work in an office nor how close to home so much of what happened at Dunder Mifflin is like life in corporate America – they still love it.
Best The Office Quotes
To kick off this week, let’s celebrate Jim, Pam, Dwight, Michael Scott and the rest of the gang with the best quotes from The Office.
The Office TV show is based on a mediocre paper company in Scranton, PA. The branch manager is Michael Scott. This mockumentary follows the everyday lives of the manager and the employees he “manages.”
The crew follows the employees around 24/7 and captures their quite humorous and bizarre encounters as they will do what it takes to keep the company thriving.
Best Office Quotes from Michael Scott
The Office Quotes best of starts with the world’s best manager. Here are the BEST Michael Scott Quotes:
Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don’t know. I sing in the . Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. – Michael Scott
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised. – Michael Scott
This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she’s cute now you should have seen her a couple years ago. – Michael Scott
I am Beyonce, always. – Michael Scott
That’s what she said. – Michael Scott
More Michael Scott Quotes
- Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown. – Michael Scott
- It’s a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she rocks harder than anyone alive. – Michael Scott
- I guess the attitude that I’ve tried to create here is that I’m a friend first and a boss second and probably an entertainer third. – Michael Scott
- Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch. – Michael Scott
- I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms. – Michael Scott
- Oh, this is gonna feel so good getting this thing off my chest… that’s what she said. – Michael Scott
- Oh God, my mind is going a mile an hour. – Michael Scott
- I hate so much about the things you choose to be. – Michael Scott
- Well, happy birthday Jesus. Sorry that your party’s so lame. – Michael Scott
- Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work. – Michael Scott
- I tried, I tried. I tried to talk to Toby and be his friend but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail. I feel like I’m dying inside. I feel like Neve Campbell in Scream II. She thinks she can go off to college and be happy and then the murderer comes back and starts killing off all of her friends. I learned a lot of lessons from that movie, this is just one of them. – Michael Scott
Best Office Quotes from Dwight Schrute
Here are our FAVORITE Dwight Schrute Quotes. Let’s not forget who Dwight Schrute is. Dwight is Assistant to the regional manager of Dunder Mifflin, salesman, and B&B proprietor of Schrute Farms beet plantation.
He is an iconic symbol for nerds and annoying co-workers, alike. – Dwight Schrute
If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides. – Dwight Schrute
In an ideal world I would have all ten fingers on my left hand and the right one would just be left for punching. – Dwight Schrute
Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague. – Dwight Schrute
All you need is love. False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food, and shelter. – Dwight Schrute
Did you know that the human thumb is formed by 15 interchangeable joints? Wrong. Don’t believe everything that people on television tell you. – Dwight Schrute
Here’s a sneak peek of a hilarious scene with Dwight – watch Peanut Butter Dwight face on YouTube.
More Dwight Schrute Quotes
- I do not fear the unknown. I will meet my new challenges head-on, and I will succeed, and I will laugh in the faces of those who doubt me. – Dwight Schrute
- I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command. Also, I can retract my penis up into itself. – Dwight Schrute
- Michael is like Mozart, and I’m like Butch Cassidy. You mess with Mozart and you’re gonna get bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy. – Dwight Schrute
- It’s a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work. – Dwight Schrute
- When you become close with someone, you develop a kind of six sense. You can read their moods like a book. Right now the title of Michael’s book is ‘Something Weird Is Going On… colon… What Did Jan Say?’ The Michael Scott Story. By Michael Scott with Dwight Schrute. – Dwight Schrute
- Once I’m officially Regional Manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new number two. My ideal choice? Jack Bauer. But he is unavailable. Fictional. And overqualified. – Dwight Schrute
Best Office Quotes from Pam Beesly
Gotta love The Office receptionist, Pam Beesly. Here are our favorite The Office quotes from the everyone’s favorite receptionist – Pam Beesly.
I’m guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes, pennies, walnuts… – Pam Beelsy
I have decided that I’m going to be more honest. I’m gonna start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out world, ‘cuz ‘ol Pamy is gettin’ what she wants. And, don’t call me Pamy.- Pam Beelsy
I learned from Jim, if Dwight ever asks you if you accept something secret, you reply, “absolutely I do.” – Pam Beelsy
Maybe it was Meredith. Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different than the lice that i got from Cece. So let’s not jump to the simplest conclusion that she got her lice from me. That is how wars get started. Fine, I’ll tell her it was me. – Pam Beelsy
You can’t be scared of a room full of Jims. I love the guy but he’s basically Gumby with hair. – Pam Beelsy
More Pam Beesly Quotes
- I planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs. – Pam Beelsy
- I think an ordinary paper company like Dunder-Mifflin was a great subject for a documentary. There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point? – Pam Beelsy
- Angela insisted that all the animals be fully clothed. – Pam Beelsy
Best Office Quotes from Jim Halpert
Next on Best of The Office Quotes list, we have JIM! Who didn’t love Jim Halpert, good guy – always up for a great prank. John Krazinski did such a fabulous job portraying Jim. Let’s look at the best Jim Halpert quotes from the Office.
Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug, and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won’t notice? – Jim Halpert
Why don’t I wanna go? Didn’t expect to need a reason so let me think here. Um. I don’t know any of these people, it’s an obligation, I don’t think talking paper in my free time (or in my work time,) and, did I use the word pointless? – Jim Halpert
Oh so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure. – Jim Halpert
I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before… try. – Jim Halpert
Last week, Dwight found half a joint in the parking lot. And as it turns out, Dwight finding drugs is more dangerous than most people using drugs. – Jim Halpert
More Jim Halpert Quotes
- [referring to Dwight] God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someone’s head. – Jim Halpert
- Right now this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train. – Jim Halpert
- Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact. – Jim Halpert
- This is “parkour”, the internet sensation of 2004. It was in one of the Bond films. It’s pretty impressive. The point is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible, so technically they are doing parkour as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital. – Jim Halpert
- I think it’s great that the company’s making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or…and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide. – Jim Halpert
More Quotes From The Office
The Office quotes just don’t stop! And while Michael Scott, Jim, Pam and Dwight often take center stage – let’s be honest. The entire cast made The Office the show that is was.
Here are some of our favorite quotes from the Office from other characters.
I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to just tune myself out. – Kelly
I’ve stopped caring a long time ago. – Creed
For my New Year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week. – Meredith
I have very little patience for stupidity. – Kevin
If you pray enough, you can turn yourself into a cat person. – Angela
Facts About The Office
Here’s a few facts about The Office – for any of you hard core Office fans.
- The Office was on for 9 seasons from 2005-2013.
- Award Winning – The Office won 1 Golden Globe, 45 other wins and 186 award nominations over the 9 seasons it was on the air. .
- Each show was 22 minutes long.
- Did you know John Krasinski and B.J. Novak went to the same high school and both graduated in the same year, 1997? (They also played on the same little league team!)
- Rainn Wilson – who plays Dwight K. Schrute – originally auditioned for the role of Michael Scott
- In real life, Jenna Fischer (Pam) and Angela Kinsey (Angela) are real life BFFs. Jenna is godmother to Angela’s daughter Isabel.
- “That’s what she said” was said a total of 58 times throughout the series, mostly by Michael Scott – of course.
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The Office Quotes is apart of the Digital Mom Blog series on Funny Memes