Monday morning was one to cry over, literally. I had broken my toe Sunday night, hoping it was a minor jam – only for it to continue to swell and exhert PAIN. I woke up, attempted to dress and crawled to the top of the stairs and just cried. The 2 weeks prior had been full of mommy chaos, in addition to this baby growing in my belly. Week 1, E, our 4-year old was sick. Week 2, Z, our 6-year old had the flu. The weekend was full of Sean being sick, me having false labor pains and then Sunday the TOE break. At this point – it’s around 8 am, and as I sit upstairs weeping there is a knock at our door.
Sadly, we barely know our neighbors. We’ve lived here for 8 years, and have tried to be friendly. We waive, some neighbors wave back. We say hi, but with the lifestyle of both of us working and our kids in childcare – we’re not present enough to establish good relationships. Our neighborhood is nice, but it ain’t no Leave It To Beaver – hood.
Sean answers the door – I admit. I wanted to scream DO NOT ANSWER IT. I’m glad he did. At the door stood our neighbor who lives across the street holding her baby boy panicked as she is locked herself out of the house – with the car running (I knew I didn’t need a remote start!). It’s freezing cold, she has no phone – she just wants to make a call.
She looks up from the foyer to see me sitting there pathetic. I make a lame attempt to cover up reality, say hi to the kiddo as I am sure he is like WHY IS THAT LADY CRAWLING AROUND, do her feet not work? I crawl back to my bedroom and then panic sets in. Laundry is EVERYWHERE. Before the toe break the nigth before – the family watching the USA vs. Canada hockey game (way to go USA!) and doing laundry before my foot rammed into the ottoman. This neighbor – who sadly I know her kid’s name but for the life of me CANNOT remember her name – is downstairs in the living room surrounded by our mess. She’s never needed anything, she is in need. It’s cold outside. She has a baby and is in a panic – and I am sitting here worrying about how I appear.
OH SNAP. It’s like God took his hand and gave me a little reality smack. It was as if I could hear him saying "MOLLY, you are 36 weeks pregnant. You have a broken toe. You work full-time. You are a Mom. Your house if lived in. This neighbor and her child are iin need. Get over yourself, this is REAL LIFE and you are by no means a REAL HOUSEWIFE OF FRISCO TEXAS with a fake life, money flowing in to pay for everying and there are no tv cameras present."
Thank you God for that reminder. There are too many things that I need to worry about then to be perfect. I must accept my flaws and my inability to do laundry and maintain a clean house. My mom once told me that my Grandma said before she passed "I don’t want to be remembered for having a clean house." While I don’t care to be remembered for a dirty house – I do agree. There is much more to what God has in store for me and my family than cleaning and worrying about image.
Psalm 31:1-2 – The Message
I run to you, God; I run for dear life. Don’t let me down!
Take me seriously this time!
Get down on my level and listen,
and please—no procrastination!
Your granite cave a hiding place,
your high cliff aerie a place of safety.
